ShareWIK.com

As a full-time middle school teacher, I literally spend more time each day with your children than you do.  As a result, I am privy to the little ups and downs of their academic and social life.  Your children tell me their secrets, share their jokes, reveal their anxieties, frustrations and dreams; they cry and laugh in front of me and even laugh at me.  I serve as their teacher, their mentor, their authoritarian, their friend, their parent, and sometimes their worst nightmare.  After 24 years in education, I am almost willing to say there’s nothing your kids can say or do that will surprise me.   

My hope is that I will be able to provide some insight into what really happens in the classroom during the school day.  To let you in on why your son suddenly won’t let you hug him good-bye in the morning or why one morning your daughter shows up at the breakfast table wearing eye make-up and one of those “outfits” that look’s like she’s going pole dancing, rather than to school. 

I also plan to cast a spotlight on you-the-parents-of-my-charges and give you an insider’s view on what I observe from my seat in the front of the classroom.  In a recent interview I was asked what the toughest thing about teaching is and without pause, my answer was, “The parents.” 

When I first began teaching, I felt parents were on the same page as me.  Now, parents tend to believe everything their child comes home and tells them as the Gospel truth and then they turn around and accuse the teacher as the Wrong Doer. 

News Flash:  Teachers do not have the time to scheme and intentionally pick on a particular student.  I know that as parents you want to believe that your child is incapable of any wrong-doing.  However, this is simply not the case.  The child you see at home is not always the same child we observe here at school.  

There are many reasons why such a dramatic shift in my job has taken place.  Perhaps, it’s the result of the intense focus parents place on their children?  Limited schedules due to both parents working may put them in the position of indulging their kids when they are with them.  Or maybe parents don't want to upset the apple cart in the four hours they're with their kids after work and before bed, so they just haul them around to every activity and back off on the discipline.

Discipline takes a lot of effort.  After a long day at the office, many parents are just too worn out to uphold the rules of the house.  Children know this and prey on that weakness.  Kids continue to whine when they are told, “No."  They nag you until you give in.  How many of us have seen the screaming kid in the grocery store who wants a candy bar?  Though mom has said, "No," the boy’s screaming gets louder and his body falls to the ground kicking and flailing.  It’s 6:00 p.m. and Mom is standing there in her pumps, snagged panty hose and rumpled business suit – she is exhausted and needs to get dinner on in 30 minutes.  Guess who is the odds-on favorite to win this battle?  Can you blame her?  Yet, fast forward 10 years and this is the same boy who will be sitting in my classroom.   

Despite all of the obstacles and difficulties, teaching is still the best career in the world.  I feel so gratified when I help a student achieve that "a-ha" moment and they finally understand a concept that has eluded them.  I also get excited when I find new methods and techniques to teach the same subject. 

I am also the mom of two teens.  They are a funny bunch those Tweens and teens.  They are truly children who are anxious to be independent adults.  In order to survive their changes, you will need a sense of humor, a strong backbone, a compassionate ear, eyes in the back of your head, and the ability to know when to “hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.” 

Having an insider share some of the trade secrets can't hurt either.

Margaret Andersen is the mother of three teenagers and a middle school teacher somewhere in the Midwest.  She is a regular ShareWIK.com columnist.