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I quit smoking in the old days, back when the “tech support” options were not very advanced. There was no such thing as an electronic cigarette, and doctors weren’t routinely prescribing smoking-cessation medications.  I didn’t exactly have to walk 10 miles in the snow, up hill both ways to get to school, but it was certainly a very different landscape than today’s world. To quit smoking, I was pretty much on my own.

I started smoking to be cool. At 14, I wanted to appear older than I was, and I honestly thought the ability to make excellent smoke rings was a sign of sophistication. As status turned into habit, I wore it proudly, secretly thrilled that the guy at the Crown Gas station would stand outside his glass shell with a pack of Marlboro Lights and 35 cents in exchange for the dollar I held out my window.

At 16, I had permission to smoke in “the area” at school, and by 20, when the nurse at the health center asked if I was a runner, I stated clearly, “No, I’m a smoker.” I was totally hooked.

Truth is, I’ll always be a smoker. I’ve often joked that, when I get to my 80s, I’m going to take up smoking again. If it weren’t such a dirty and expensive habit, I might actually consider it.

Like most former smokers, I’m obnoxious around smokers. Maybe it’s a little jealousy in disguise, but I find it totally annoying to breathe in another’s smoke, and I rarely hide my displeasure. My kids have adopted my disdain, but I’m trying to teach them to be polite about it (good Southern girl that I am!).

Also like most former smokers, I quit more than once. The first time I did it for love, and it lasted a year or two. (I must confess to being a cheating scoundrel in that relationship: whenever I went ‘home’ on vacations, I smoked incessantly with my old friends from high school). The second time I did it for my health and myself, and it has lasted a lifetime – so far, so good.

Many factors motivated my quitting the second time, but few of them more compelling than my embarrassment. A single woman in my mid-20’s, I was enjoying an elegant greeting from a single young man who reached for my hand and bent down to kiss it. As he lifted his head, he made a face at the smell! I was mortified. Years of chronic bronchitis were no deterrent, but my dating life? THAT was a different story.

So how did I quit? I did it the same way I do almost everything like that – gradually, and then suddenly, one step at a time.

What I Know Now(ok, what I can remember –it’s been nearly 25 years),

The 15 Step Behavior Modification Approach to Quitting Smoking (that worked for me!):

1.    Set the intention. Get clear about what’s important about it to you. I didn’t want to quit smoking, but I did want to feel healthier and stop getting sick all the time (ok, the bronchitis DID start bothering me).

2. Pay attention to the smell. If you can’t smell it, lick an ashtray for a refresher.

3.    If you don’t already, start “field-stripping” your cigarettes and commit to throwing away the butts (which may mean carrying them around with you for a while). Take a responsible approach to your smoking – at least, respect the environment and others by not leaving your trash behind you.

4.    If you drive, stop throwing cigarette butts out the window. They’re your cigarettes, use your own ash tray (see #3).

5.    Stop smoking in your car and get it cleaned.

6.    Begin to reduce the number of cigarettes you smoke, gradually.

7.    Identify your trigger areas, and cut them out one at a time, allowing a few weeks in between if necessary. (For example, wait to light up after a meal until you’ve left the table. Do this for a few weeks before you stop lighting up whenever you get on the telephone, etc.)

8.    Delay the first cigarette of the day as long as you can.

9.    Get down to five cigarettes a day –you can do that in a couple of months or less.

10. Set a date at least two weeks out with NO NATIONAL SIGNIFICANCE ATTACHED TO IT, an arbitrary date that may have no meaning to you at all. Everyone quits on Jan. 1. Try quitting on Feb. 4. I chose the weekend of a close friend’s wedding – that way I can remember every year.

11. Tell everyone you know that you are quitting on that date. Start spreading the news. Ask for encouragement from people.  

12. Plan a trip or vacation for the day after you quit (preferably with a nonsmoker). Go someplace you’ve never been, or that you don’t associate with smoking. Visit a nonsmoker. Set yourself up for success!

13. While you are away, arrange to have a friend come in to your place and clear out all signs of smoking including taking clothes to the laundry or dry cleaner. You can do this yourself, too, if you can trust yourself not to go find that ashtray with all that laundry to do!

14. This next step is a matter of preference. 

a.    Some people need to stay on pattern until the last day, and gradually cut down from five cigarettes to four, three, two, one.

b.    Others need to blow it out (or suck it in) the last day, and smoke like crazy until it makes you feel sick. (This method worked for me, but there was tequila at the wedding. The other would have worked for me, too.) 

15. Finally, create a number of “fake cigarettes”* and carry them with you everywhere. They are roughly the same weight as a cigarette. Use it in place of smoking, and take long, deep drags on it when you are in real need of an oral fix.

Now, I acknowledge that this method will not work for everyone, and thankfully there are countless forms of support available that I know nothing about. But this method is tried and true, and has worked for several friends of mine over the years. I hope it works for you. If not, well, don’t give up. Get clear on WHY you want to quit, and start again. YOU are worth it! 

*“Fake Cigarette” recipe: Take a regular straw and stuff it with about 3 bar straws (clearly, you can do this anywhere!). With scissors, cut the straw to the length of your regular cigarettes. It creates a draw quite similar to taking a drag on a cigarette. It’s really quite effective!

Elaine Taylor-Klaus is a Life, Leadership and Parenting Coach and the founder of Touchstone Coaching and ImpactADHD™. She is a regular ShareWIK.com columnist.

Read more articles by Elaine Taylor-Klaus here. 

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