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For the past few summers I’ve participated in a mini-triathlon in Peachtree City, Georgia.  My first one at age 45 was one of my proudest moments.  The event (400 meter swim, 14-mile bike ride and 5K run) is no IronMan, but it requires some training on my part.   

True Confessions: I’m not the most self-disciplined person regarding exercise.  Thanks to an active childhood I’ve been “fit enough” for much of my life, so losing weight has never been a big motivator.  (Interestingly while many folks exercise to lose weight, those who use this as their main motivation have difficulty sustaining these habits over the long haul.) My nod towards fitness generally consists of a daily mile-and-a-half dog-walk and an occasional dance class.

But a few years ago, with the onset of hot flashes and the impact of a sedentary job (sit for 50 minutes, hit restroom, sit for 50 minutes, repeat…) my body was starting to feel the effects of aging.  The time seemed ripe to push myself, especially given that my professional role often includes helping people who struggle with their weight. If I was to encourage others to step out of their comfort zone, I’d need to walk the walk (or run the run!)

A few years ago I encountered a unique group of fit women in their 30s and 40s. Interestingly, they all lived in the Lake Forrest Lane neighborhood of Chastain Park. This group supports the 2009 findings of Harvard Professor Nicholas Christakis who demonstrated that variables like weight and happiness were affected by social networks, e.g. overweight people tended to have overweight friends.

If you live on Lake Forrest Lane you’re probably going to end up fit!

So I felt honored to be informally invited into the LFL “club.” These gals set their alarms early. By 6:00 a.m. they are running around the park, returning in time to get their kids on the bus or get showered for work. Before joining this group, I never woke up that early except to catch a plane. All of a sudden, I was hopping (well, rolling) out of my warm bed and venturing into the cold darkness for a run. More often than not I’d catch them on their “cool down,” meaning they’d already run five miles before they met up with me.  

As excited as I was to be included, as a psychologist I was curious about what made these women so committed to exercise.  I noticed they did a number of things that experts suggest:

·      They mixed up their work-outs, running different routes, doing Saturday bike rides or meeting at the pool to swim laps. 

·      They signed up for events so that they were often in training, which gave them each concrete goals. 

·      They used their work-out time to meet their social needs, chatting about their lives, their marriages and their kids. 

·      They gave and got lots of support, loaning each other equipment, sharing training tips and being generous with positive feedback.

Over time I discovered a more subtle but probably even more critical variable. While I was unaware of their internal dialogue, I was certainly aware of mine. Listening to my brain was like being tugged on by a whiney toddler.  “I’m tired.  My legs hurt.  I’m thirsty. I’d rather be sleeping. When are we going to get to the top of this hill?  Are we almost there yet?  Waah waah waaaaaah…”      

In my profession I’m so accustomed to people sharing unfiltered thoughts, I forgot that the rest of the world doesn’t care to endure such negativity, especially at 6:30 a.m.   One gal started calling me “Debbie Downer.” But what stopped my complaining for good was Lucy (who adheres to a strict “no whining” policy) stating matter-of-factly, “If it’s not fun, Dina, then don’t do it.”

 Wow. Okay. Duh.  I guess I’d lost sight of the fact that this was supposed to be fun.

It hit me that while I’m adept at helping others challenge teir internal negative voices, I was quite over-indulgent with my own. I vowed to quit complaining, but it wasn’t just about muzzling Debbie Downer.  The key was getting her re-focused. I started consciously connecting to the positive aspects of early morning exercise, adopting a more mindful and accepting approach.

·      I focused on my breathing and my heartbeat and the rhythmic sounds of my feet on the pavement. 

·      I appreciated the stillness of the early morning as the world was waking up around me.

·      I experienced the rush of being in the presence of other women. 

·      I congratulated myself for working towards an important goal.

·      I encouraged myself up the hills and reminded myself of the downhill that followed.

·      I looked forward to the reward of a great breakfast, which was only a few minutes away. 

·      I reminded myself that getting out of the enveloping warmth of bed was harder than staying in it, and that instant gratification didn’t lead to the pride of accomplishment.

·      I knew that the run would afford me a more relaxed, productive, and happier day.

·      I felt pleased that I was one run closer to being in better shape.

·      I acknowledged with gratitude that I lived in a healthy body that was capable of running.

·      I thanked the Universe that I was simply alive.

Perhaps this was the key to the successful mindset of the ladies of Lake Forrest Lane.  I could see how this new way of thinking was actually sustainable, self-reinforcing and ultimately the route to a lifetime of fitness. 

So my third Peachtree City Tri is three weeks away.  This year I’m doing it with my 14-year old son. I enjoy training with him so I can pick his brain. The kid has no ambivalence about his athleticism and attacks physical challenges with gusto. How does he do it?

I’ll check back in my next column for a progress update…

Dina Zeckhausen is a nationally-known clinical psychologist and author who specializes in treating eating disorders and body image in both adults and adolescents. She is a weekly columnist for ShareWiK.com. You can visit her on the web at dinazeckhausen.com and MyEdin.org.

More Dina Zeckhausen articles, click here.

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