ShareWIK.com

Lately, I feel as though I've been surrounded by bad news:  the sputtering economy; people I love continue to struggle with mental illness and addiction; a number of close friends’ children in dire situations, as well as other friends wrestling with personal and financial crises.  Add to that my own business deadlines, too much work and too little time, plus all the low points that come with being an entrepreneur, and well, let’s just say that some days it feels as if the weight of the world is sitting on my chest making it hard to breathe. 

But instead of feeling paralyzed or letting myself go into a funk, I sit here watching a very cute YouTube video a friend posted on Facebook that features a 6-year-old girl opening up a backpack to find she’s been given a trip to Disney World.  

I don't feel a single pang of guilt.  Instead, I am appreciating every smile and laugh the video elicits in me.  

Distraction?  Perhaps.  But right at this moment it’s either find something to laugh about or let myself sink into an abyss of sadness. 

I suppose this is my way of putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses. 

There was a time when I felt enjoying something as frivolous as a funny video when surrounded by so much suffering was a crime and that the only moral thing for me to do was to dutifully jump with both feet into the funk of those around me.   

No longer.   That was a pretty high price to pray for "friendship."

Growing up in a fundamentalist Christian home, I heard the word “repentance” a lot.  But in that setting, it was always linked to “sin” and of course, in my mind, always had a negative connotation.  What repentance means, though, is “a change of thinking.”  In other words, change your thinking and change your behavior. The same could be said of attitude: Change your thinking and change your attitude.   

It takes enormous energy and great discipline to crawl out of a funk.  And sometimes I think that it would be much easier to let myself give in and unravel instead of putting one foot in front of the other, especially when I really don’t feel like it.  But I also know that once I start climbing out from under the blanket of darkness, each day, each moment gets a little easier.  

My friend, Tony, is incredibly upbeat nearly all the time.  When I asked him how he maintains such a positive disposition, he said that every day he deliberately does three things:  First, he finds something that makes him belly laugh; second, something that makes him cry—not just sad, but touching; and thirdly, he seeks to learn one thing he didn’t know previously. 

While eating dinner with his family, he makes a point of sharing all three things.   And then he asks his family to tell him about the worst part of their day.  After he listens to their answers, he asks, “What was the best part of your day?” 

He puts the questions in that order, “Because you always want to end the conversation on a good note,” he said.     

That kind of attitude tends to sustain someone through good times and bad.  My oldest sister’s 94-year-old father-in-law is an example.  He has always been an optimist and an absolute pleasure to be around.  But now, his health is failing rapidly and his mind has disappeared into dementia.  Still, whenever my sister asks him how he’s doing, he replies, “I’m doing great.  Is there any other way?” 

My friend Sara is allergic to just about everything—a number of foods and almost all preservatives and additives in foods.  She has to carry an Epi Pen at all times and struggles with migraines.  But in spite of how hard it is for her to eat out without getting sick, whenever I ask her how everything’s going, she responds, “It’s all good.” 

Her allergies, she says, have taught her a lot--how to cook wholesome food and to listen to her body.  She focuses on things she can eat and enjoy rather than what she can’t eat. She lives a very full, rich life. 

Her enthusiasm is infectious.    

Multiple studies have found that life tends to be easier for those whose outlook on life is sunny.  Are optimists just kidding themselves?  I don’t think so, especially because I believe that all of life is a classroom and everything that happens to you or someone you love is intended to be a lesson for your soul or theirs.  And if that’s the case, our circumstances tend to thrust us either into a position of learning or teaching.  If we’re not doing one or the other, then we’re just banging our heads against the wall until we “get” the lesson we’re supposed to learn.    

In the Bible, God instructs: “In everything give thanks.”  Certainly not an easy thing to do.  

So, yes, I work at giving thanks for the economy.  Thanks for the hardships of my siblings.  Thanks for the pain so many of my friends continue to walk through.  Thanks for my own low points and even the times I do unravel. Thanks because of my belief that it is all about the learning and the teaching for our souls.

If this is what life is all about, then nothing we experience is a mistake — not the sadness, the disappointments, the loss or even the funks.  

Instead, it’s all good. 

Diana Keough is a Pulitzer-prize nominated journalist and the mother of four sons.  She is also the co-founder and Editor-in-Chief of ShareWIK.com.

For more Diana Keough articles, click here.

©2011 ShareWIK Media Group, LLC