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Head in the Clouds? Don’t Forget Life is Happening Here and Now

Tue 17 May 2011 09:28:40 | 0 comments

Many years ago, my friend, Amy, pointed out that I was constantly dreaming of someday ... never happy with where I was at. Always imagining myself in the future, somewhere else, rather than being content with where I was at, whether my dreams involved a new relationship, a new home or a new career. “You better watch out,” she warned, “or one day you’ll wake up and realize that life passed you by ‘cause you were always looking for something better.”


At the time, her words grated against me like an annoying mother trying to keep her kid’s head out of the clouds. And I thought, hey, that’s her “issue” not mine. I mean, what’s wrong with dreaming about a better life?


But the other day, I ran across this quote from Mother Teresa, posted on a friend’s Facebook page, and I thought hmmm …: “May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be … May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."


Mother Teresa’s words, which reminded me of what my friend had said to me years ago, struck a nerve in me. Did I trust that I was, in fact, where I was meant to be? Was I content with myself just the way I was?


Um, not exactly.


Maybe my friend (and Mother Teresa) had a point. I do tend to gaze far into the future and tell myself that life will be better when x, y or z comes to be. On the other hand, there’s something to be said for self-improvement.


The thing is, I know I’m not alone in my stargazing. As a coach, I can’t think of the last time I worked with a client who hasn’t blurted out some version of “I can’t wait until x happens, because then life will be so much better” at some point in our work together. Which makes sense, since none of these clients would come to me, as a coach, in the first place if they didn’t have hopes and dreams for a better life.


But as a coach, part of my job is to challenge clients to enjoy their lives right now, as they work toward their goals, rather than waiting for that magical day when life will finally be perfect. Because as most of us know that life will never be perfect, and when we finally achieve the change we desire, there will always be another goal to aim for, then another, and another.  So, if we can’t enjoy the journey and accept where we’re at today, then my friend is right. Life will pass us by, and we’ll always be grasping for something brighter and shinier.


While I don’t exactly believe that life is passing me by, I do think there’s something to be said for accepting what is and being content with where I am in life. Because God knows, I have a lot to be grateful for. A loving husband and family. Nurturing friends. A comfortable home in a vibrant, progressive neighborhood. Wonderful clients who inspire me everyday.


Do I have dreams for the future? You bet. I’d like to live in a home that’s larger and airier and surrounded by trees, a home we fondly refer to as our future treehouse. I’d also like to grow my coaching practice, so I’m able to help more people who are going through difficult life transitions.


But experience has taught me that it doesn’t help to resist what is. When I do, it is like riding a stationary bicycle and expecting to actually get somewhere. I end up expending a great deal of energy while standing still. So today, I’m going to remember what I’m grateful for, and be content with who I am and where I’m at in life, and trust Mother Teresa when she says I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.


Do you find yourself constantly dreaming about a better future, while life passes you by? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this topic. Please leave a comment here on ShareWIK.com.

 

 

Ellen Brown is a certified professional coach, based in Cleveland, OH, and a regular columnist on ShareWIK.com.  Visit her website at http://ellen-brown.com

For more Ellen Brown columns, click  here.

 

©2011 ShareWIK Media Group, LLC

 

 

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