When I was growing up, there were endless snipes – on TV and in real life – leveled against women going through “the Big M.” Little zingers like “she MUST be going through the Change of Life because she’s acting SO nutzoid.” Or “watch out, trouble ahead! That broad’s going through The Change.”
A large part of the trash talk revolved around the frightful hot flash. Sometimes it seemed as though my Mom’s entire life was lived out in one long hot flash. And since I was always freezing, and my Mom was always hot, that was quite a nightmare as far as I was concerned. In the wintertime, my Mom insisted on keeping the heat down in the lower 60s to mitigate her inner thermostat, and if anyone ever suggested that she turn it up a tad, look out. Dagger eyes or far worse!
If I’d grown up in a home where levity was seen as an appropriate response to such things, perhaps my mother and I would have enjoyed a friendly game of thermostat wars. But alas, I did not, and I have always been the freeze baby in the family – freezing in the winter and hyper tolerant of the heat in the summer. So much so that when I once vacationed in Aruba, I walked the beach with a friend at night wearing a leather jacket as a windbreaker and a barrier against what I perceived to be the night chills.
In any case, when I was growing up, my Mom was always boiling hot, while I was freezing cold. The thing is that my “normal temperature” has never been normal, which is something my pediatrician explained to my Mom when I was young. While most people have a “normal temperature” of 98.6 degrees, mine is a scant 96.7.
At a certain point, I started wondering whether this tendency might work in my favor. As I’ve grown older and heard with increasing frequency about the dreaded hot flashes that “no one can escape,” I’ve wondered if I’d ever feel a “power surge,” hoping that my low body temperature would protect me from the horror of it all. I say “horror,” because the stories I’ve heard about hot flashes have been quite nightmarish.
For example, I worked with a client who told me this little ditty. One day, she was giving what was arguably the most important presentation of her career before the board of trustees of a major health care system, when she suddenly broke out into a hot flash. Within seconds, her white linen blouse was soaked with sweat, her face turned the color of cooked lobster and her scent was, shall we say out of this world. Was she mortified? You bet.
Then there’s a friend of mine who told this tale. She was at a party at a local park in late autumn, dressed casually in layers, when suddenly a hot flash struck like lightening. Suddenly, she was peeling off her layers like there was no tomorrow. First her polar fleece jacket, then a sweatshirt, and a long-sleeved shirt, until she was down to a tiny t-shirt and sports bra that were both drenched with sweat. No sooner had she stripped down to the barest essentials allowed in public then the cold sweats came on, and she was freezing cold. To remedy the situation, she did a reverse strip tease, piling on layer upon layer again. Her husband stood by smiling sweetly. “This?” he said, gesturing toward his wife. “This is nothing. Happens all the time.”
When I hear these stories, and tell my friends that I’m SO grateful that I haven’t had a single hot flash, they give me a knowing smile. “Yet, you mean,” they say. “You haven’t had a hot flash YET.” Or they’ll say, “Oh, you’ll have them. Just wait, it’s just a matter of time.”
It’s as though they can’t wait for me to join the Hot Mamas Club, or maybe it’s the menopausal version of misery loves company.
This probably falls under the category of WTMI (way too much information), but I’m still in the throes of perimenopause, and my periods are still as regular as a 20-year-old woman’s. And while I know that the Big M is probably right around the corner, I believe there’s a chance I’ll be able to keep the hot flashes at bay.
First, there’s my low body temperature, which might help my chances of staving off hot flashes. Then there’s my lifestyle. I eat a healthy diet (rich in fruits and veggies and omega 3s), exercise almost daily, enjoy alcohol in moderation, and don’t smoke, which all are believed to reduce the chances of having hot flashes.
While I can’t prove that I’ll be able to keep the hot flashes away, I do think it’s a possibility. So I’m going to respectfully decline an invitation to the Hot Mamas Club for now.
But I hope to see you “on the other side” – when the Big M strikes – sometime soon.
I’d love to hear what you have to say about hot flashes and the Big M. Have you been able to prevent hot flashes? Please leave a comment here on ShareWIK.com
Ellen Brown is a certified professional coach, based in Cleveland, OH, and a regular columnist on ShareWIK.com. Visit her website at http://ellen-brown.com.
For more Ellen Brown columns, click here.
©2011 ShareWIK Media Group, LLC
When I was growing up, there were endless snipes – on TV and in real life – leveled against women going through “the Big M.” Little zingers like “she MUST be going through the Change of Life because she’s acting SO nutzoid.” Or “watch out, trouble ahead! That broad’s going through The Change.”
A large part of the trash talk revolved around the frightful hot flash. Sometimes it seemed as though my Mom’s entire life was lived out in one long hot flash. And since I was always freezing, and my Mom was always hot, that was quite a nightmare as far as I was concerned. In the wintertime, my Mom insisted on keeping the heat down in the lower 60s to mitigate her inner thermostat, and if anyone ever suggested that she turn it up a tad, look out. Dagger eyes or far worse!
If I’d grown up in a home where levity was seen as an appropriate response to such things, perhaps my mother and I would have enjoyed a friendly game of thermostat wars. But alas, I did not, and I have always been the freeze baby in the family – freezing in the winter and hyper tolerant of the heat in the summer. So much so that when I once vacationed in Aruba, I walked the beach with a friend at night wearing a leather jacket as a windbreaker and a barrier against what I perceived to be the night chills.
In any case, when I was growing up, my Mom was always boiling hot, while I was freezing cold. The thing is that my “normal temperature” has never been normal, which is something my pediatrician explained to my Mom when I was young. While most people have a “normal temperature” of 98.6 degrees, mine is a scant 96.7.
At a certain point, I started wondering whether this tendency might work in my favor. As I’ve grown older and heard with increasing frequency about the dreaded hot flashes that “no one can escape,” I’ve wondered if I’d ever feel a “power surge,” hoping that my low body temperature would protect me from the horror of it all. I say “horror,” because the stories I’ve heard about hot flashes have been quite nightmarish.
For example, I worked with a client who told me this little ditty. One day, she was giving what was arguably the most important presentation of her career before the board of trustees of a major health care system, when she suddenly broke out into a hot flash. Within seconds, her white linen blouse was soaked with sweat, her face turned the color of cooked lobster and her scent was, shall we say out of this world. Was she mortified? You bet.
Then there’s a friend of mine who told this tale. She was at a party at a local park in late autumn, dressed casually in layers, when suddenly a hot flash struck like lightening. Suddenly, she was peeling off her layers like there was no tomorrow. First her polar fleece jacket, then a sweatshirt, and a long-sleeved shirt, until she was down to a tiny t-shirt and sports bra that were both drenched with sweat. No sooner had she stripped down to the barest essentials allowed in public then the cold sweats came on, and she was freezing cold. To remedy the situation, she did a reverse strip tease, piling on layer upon layer again. Her husband stood by smiling sweetly. “This?” he said, gesturing toward his wife. “This is nothing. Happens all the time.”
When I hear these stories, and tell my friends that I’m SO grateful that I haven’t had a single hot flash, they give me a knowing smile. “Yet, you mean,” they say. “You haven’t had a hot flash YET.” Or they’ll say, “Oh, you’ll have them. Just wait, it’s just a matter of time.”
It’s as though they can’t wait for me to join the Hot Mamas Club, or maybe it’s the menopausal version of misery loves company.
This probably falls under the category of WTMI (way too much information), but I’m still in the throes of perimenopause, and my periods are still as regular as a 20-year-old woman’s. And while I know that the Big M is probably right around the corner, I believe there’s a chance I’ll be able to keep the hot flashes at bay.
First, there’s my low body temperature, which might help my chances of staving off hot flashes. Then there’s my lifestyle. I eat a healthy diet (rich in fruits and veggies and omega 3s), exercise almost daily, enjoy alcohol in moderation, and don’t smoke, which all are believed to reduce the chances of having hot flashes.
While I can’t prove that I’ll be able to keep the hot flashes away, I do think it’s a possibility. So I’m going to respectfully decline an invitation to the Hot Mamas Club for now.
But I hope to see you “on the other side” – when the Big M strikes – sometime soon.
I’d love to hear what you have to say about hot flashes and the Big M. Have you been able to prevent hot flashes? Please leave a comment here on ShareWIK.com
Ellen Brown is a certified professional coach, based in Cleveland, OH, and a regular columnist on ShareWIK.com. Visit her website at http://ellen-brown.com.
For more Ellen Brown columns, click here.
©2011 ShareWIK Media Group, LLC
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