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Women need their girlfriends.  I am sure of that.  But what, I wondered, makes us attracted to the friends we make?  I put the question out for discussion by my book club girlfriends.  “Who would you choose from our contemporary culture to have as a girlfriend?” 

So, because that seemed like a vague and random question, I really did not have any expectations for any meaningful answer.  I was certainly not prepared for the answer that came back.

Out of eight women at the table, some sipping tea and others drinking coffee, came one answer.  Diane Keaton.  Yes, eight out of eight of my friends want to meet Diane Keaton.  

“Why?”  I asked. 

1-She seems so genuine.

2-She lives life on her terms.

3-She looks great and doesn’t have that too much plastic surgery look.

4-She has been a woman to admire in her movie roles.

5-She seems credible.

6-She is not dependent on a man to make her life whole.

7-She has her own style.

8-She projects a warmth that feels positive and friendly.

Feeling like I just had an “aha!” moment, I came home and went to Wikipedia, the online…and seemingly reliable…encyclopedia for just about anything.  

Here is what I learned about our Diane Keaton:

1-Yes, she does seem genuine.  

She described her acting ability as … only as good as the person you’re acting with… and says she always need the help of everyone.

2-She lives life on her own terms. 

In 1968, when in HAIR, she refused to disrobe at the end of Act I when the cast performs nude.

3-She looks great and is not into plastic surgery.

In 2004, she told “More" magazine that she needs to be authentic and wants her face to look the way she feels.  Since 2006, she has been the face of L’Oreal.

4-Keaton played Kay Adams-Corleone in The Godfather, Annie Hall in Annie Hall, Annie Paradis in The First Wives Club and Erica Barry in Something’s Gotta Give.

In 2006, Keaton in Annie Hall was ranked by “Premiere” magazine as 60^th on the list of the “100 Greatest Performances of All Time.”

5-She is both credible and in-credible. 

She considers her adoption of a daughter and a son (at age 50!) and motherhood to be her most humbling of experience.

6-She had romances with Woody Allen, Warren Beatty and Al Pacino but did not marry.

Keaton publicly gave up pursuing romance and stated, in 2001, that she did not need to be married…and that the “old maid myth is garbage.”

7-Keaton’s signature style includes men’s clothing with a vintage look.

After the release of Annie Hall, the menswear look became popular for women.

8-Positive women in Keaton’s life were role models for her acting career.

She was inspired by her mother, who won the “Mrs. Los Angeles” pageant for homemakers, and by Katherine Hepburn, for planning strong and independent women.

In 1996, Keaton, Goldie Hawn and Bette Midler, in “The First Wives Club”, played middle-aged women who were divorced from their husbands and replaced with younger wives.  It was comical then, but worth a second look for those women who are now in their Second Lives.  There is much to appreciate in the laughter and the tears.  And these were attractive and confident first wives, to say the least.

What impressed me was that my friends wanted to get to know a woman who seemed confident and balanced in her adult life.  

Coincidentally, Keaton’s book, Then Again Memoir, just came out.  I am going to suggest that my book club friends and I read this together.  Then, we all want to meet Diane Keaton, our girlfriend.  Maybe we expect that her self awareness will rub off on us.

Susanne Katz is a divorce coach with Mt Vernon Counseling, coauthor of A Woman's Guide to Managing a Mid-Life Divorce, an arts and living columnist for Atlanta Jewish News.com.  She is also a regular on ShareWIK.com.

More Susanne Katz here. 

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