My Shrink Rap
This is the true story of the amazing
shrinking woman.
I have been tall since the sixth
grade. I remember looking down at boys and liking that feeling of being
able to make them feel awkward. But a tall girl was like the plague – avoid
coming into contact at all costs.
But I liked being tall. Now I am not as tall
as my grandmother, who towered over everyone at 6 feet, but my dream height was
always one inch shy of six feet. But alas, my mother married a man of the arts
and not of the heights. Made it to 5’ 81 /2” by sixth grade. Spent the rest of
school in the last row of any and every picture of any group from then on. Me
and Esme - the Amazon Girls. Once we drew pictures during chorus and I got
kicked out. One day Esme left with me because she felt it wasn’t fair. She was
drawing also, but she was better behaved. Tall girls stick together.
I loved to wear heels that made my calves
ache – for more attention. My height gave me the added attention and I liked
the air up there. My posture was great and I could hear my godmother say:
“Bosoms out to the world.” It is just so much fun being tall.
In 1993 I was in a nasty car accident. Lost
my nose and cheek bone and my eye orbit was crushed. Not the look of a cover
girl, but I had wonderful doctors who put Humpty Dumpty Cassidy back together
again. I had a long thin nose. I liked to think of it as a beautiful mix of
English and Italian craftsmanship at its best. In its place was the carbon copy
of a perky and cute nose. To know me is to know that I shun being perky
and cute. I miss my nose. When I am in pictures with my siblings, my nose comes
up short. I remember pulling at it as if that would work. My nose was my
favorite facial feature. Say that three times fast.
Last year I went in for my yearly check up.
At my gynecologist’s office this nasty, bitchy whatever tells me to get on the
scale so she can weigh me and take my height. Honestly, I know both. Not good
enough for Satan’s child and when she takes my height I asked what it is. She
walked away. You don’t do that to me. I can throw a life threatening look in
front of you or behind your back. Pick one. I asked again and she
said, “65 inches and 3/4.” This is when being awake during math
class could have helped.
Five feet and 5 ¾ inches. I am stunned and I
don’t believe it for one minute. I started to tell her that something is wrong.
I am 5’ 8 1/2” but she ignored me. This is when I regret being a strong
supporter of gun control. I gave up on her and prayed to the karma goddess to
kick her to the curb later on. So I can run over her. Several times.
My doctor came in and she said she can measure
me again. Not a problem. I stand up like the proud tall woman I am and she
says, “You’re 5’6.” I am saying “WTH” about 300 times under my breath. I
am shocked and slightly horrified.
Back in her office she checked my bone
density results and I have a little loss in my hips. Three bloody inches of
bone lost? I asked. It’s called
Osteopenia and I hate the name and what it is doing to my body. Her
recommendations to slow it down – calcium and vitamin D3 - yes, it’s D3.
Being tall and having my long thin nose are
becoming just a memory. I told my family so that they can take more calcium
with the D3 and so that they can make their daughters aware of this problem
that took my grandmother from a 6 foot tall woman (like I said – we grow
them tall) to looking like a circle because her body caved in.
I don’t think that is going to happen to me.
In fact, I will not let it happen to me. I am not going to walk around
with my knuckles scarping on the wood floor. I might have evolved from the ape,
but it’s not a look I plan on adopting that look. Banana, anyone?
I got to make a joke because I am freaked
out. So take it from me- take calcium and vitamin D3. Check with your
doctor to see how much.
An Update: I recently went back to my doctor for my annual checkup. I was terrified about getting my height taken again. But, I am happy to say that I am 5-8". I did lose a half of an inch to the bone loss gods, but I think stretching, walking, determination and calcium with vitamin D3 helped. Let's put it this way -- I'm not complaining. Well, I am about my weight, but that is a whole different blog.
Elizabeth Cassidy is a creativity coach for artists and
writers and is a faculty member of the Art League of Long Island.
Elizabeth showers her clients with support, motivation and dark chocolate when
needed. Her two websites are My Views from
the Edge and Coaching for the Creative Soul.
She is a national blogger for Skirt! and GalTime and
interviews artists and writers for the Glen Cove Patch. She is
a regular ShareWIK.com columnist.
To read other columns by Elizabeth Cassidy, click here.
©2011
ShareWIK Media Group, LLC
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