ShareWIK.com

People volunteer for many reasons. One of the most obvious is that they want to give back. Others may want to learn a new skill, have a sense of accomplishment or an opportunity to meet new people. Perhaps they are looking for a job or want to keep busy. Maybe it’s a requirement for school. There are hundreds of reasons to volunteer.

In the hospice setting, there often is a different reason. Many of our volunteers often make comments of this general nature: They took such good care of Bill and I want to repay that kindness. Our volunteers amaze me with their thoughtfulness as well as their generosity of time, spirit, and expertise.

April is National Volunteer Appreciation Month. If you have ever volunteered or have been on the receiving end of this kindness, I am sure that you will join me in thanking the hundreds of people who volunteer in all capacities in our country and abroad.

If you are thinking of volunteering with a hospice after the death of your loved one, take time to consider why you want to volunteer and where you are in the grief process. Grief can take a powerful toll on you.

It is important to take responsibility for yourself and be sure that you are truly capable of working in the environment of death and dying and grief and loss. It’s hard enough when you are not actively grieving the death of a loved one. Volunteering does not take the place of grief work.

When is the right time to start volunteering for hospice after the death of a loved one?

This is a difficult question to answer. It is important to have made an appropriate adjustment to any major losses in your life. As a general rule, if you have experienced a significant death within the year or if you have someone in the family with a serious illness, you may need to re-assess your readiness.  Ask yourself where you are in your grief process? If you are at the beginning of your journey, you may want to wait as there are many triggers lurking.

All that being said, it may be that you are indeed okay to volunteer within that first year of the death. Busying yourself with such tasks as copying or mailing may provide you with a sense purpose, a routine, a time to get moving and much more. But sitting vigil or making friendly visits may prove to be too difficult in the early days of grief.

Here are two of my favorite volunteer stories:

Joe is an accomplished jazz musician. After his mom died, he wanted to give back. After completing the volunteer training, he began playing jazz in the afternoons in the atrium at Hospice House. This has branched out to his providing music to select patients in nursing homes. Ray, a veteran, volunteers with hospice patients who are also veterans. He provides an important presence in our pinning program and often wears his uniform while volunteering. 

Be sure that you take time for personal reflection before you begin to volunteer.  

Diane Snyder Cowan is the mother of two grown daughters and a national leader in using music in grief therapy, as well as the director of Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center of Hospice of the Western Reserve in Cleveland, Ohio.   She is a regular ShareWIK.com columnist. To learn more about Diane, visit her blog.  

Read other Diane Snyder Cowan columns here. 

©2011 ShareWIK Media Group, LLC