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We just received the official diagnoses of early state alzheimers for my Dad. My mom is taking it hard, even though the dementia he has been experienceing has been around for almost 3 years now.
Now that there is an actual diagnoses of Alzheimers, will this change anything? Can they do different things for him medically? It doesnt' seem much different to me, but for my mom I think its shaking her out of denial. Its just so sad to see her go through this.

My father had a series of strokes that left him permanently disabled on his right side. After a year in the hospital, rehab, surgeries, etc. , my parents asked us to move into their home to help take care of the house, yard, and dad. We stayed six years! It was a blessing for my dad to be able to be with two of his grandchildren everyday.
It was also extremely difficult for my husband and I. We had to relinquish a lot of our privacy. We also had to swallow back many of our preferences because we felt like guests in the house.
In addition, my mother's reaction to the dramatic change in her life caused her to become very bitter. Much of her anger was shoveled onto my husband and infant daughter.
After we moved out, all of our relationships improved and I went to my parents' home 5 - 7 times a week to help and check in on them. I would not recommend living together.

Day: I had to take care of both my mother and my father when they got ill and starting failing (they were no longer together when they got ill). Both of them lived out of state and it was not easy. As much as I would;ve loved to have them both move in with me, I knew that it wasn't practical or feasible for me or them. I knew they wanted to maintain their independence and I had my own family to take care of.
What I didn't realize until I went through the process is that there is a lot of help available to someone like me. I started with the social worker at the hospital. She helped me put a plan of action together to care for my parent--hospital bed, nursing care, etc. Before they got too sick, they also gave me a list and helped me make contact with nursing homes that had the level of care they needed.
Day...I would suggest you go back to your father's physical therapist and ask him/her to help direct you to the hospital's social worker. That's what some hospital social workers are trained to do and they are VERY good at their jobs.
Anyone else have any advise for Day?

My father had surgery on a pinched nerve in his back. He had to go through some physical therapy and was not able to go back to his home. He has stayed with my sister since the surgery in November 09. Now he wants to live with my sister. She would like to sell his house and use the money to build an addition onto her house. He has minimal funds. I don't think that this is a good idea. She has 4 kids and is a foster parent. He says that he will just stay in the addition and not bother her but I feel like it just won't work out. I need some ideas as to "what if this happens". I'm not sure where to start first.

my parents are not very old- mid-60's- I am only 33- but my Dad had a stroke almost three years ago and as a result has early onset dementia, as well as other personality changes. I always knew it would be me helping both my parents out- but imagined I would be 15-20 years older. I have three children under 6, and after taking care of them, taking my Dad off my mom's hand for her needed breaks, and then supporting her and trying to help her in her caregiver role I am spent. I am exhausted. I sometimes feel its my own family who suffers- my kids and my husband- because I give so much they end up with the stressed out Momma who gets headaches and is quite grumpy.
I have tried to let go of my feeling guilty when I just can't help out my parents. I do have sisters who help, but there is just so much I want to do, but can't with the babies. These are my parents you know? I want to give back to them. My Dad has longevity in his famiy- his Dad is still alive at 95(wtih dementia as well), so I figure my helping will continue in the future, and thankfully the need is not pressing.
It helps me to list out my priorities. It can change day to do- one day its just the kids- other days we get Dad and just bring him along with us. But yet, its very hard- Hang in there!

It's very hard. I lost both my parents in the past 2 years. My Dad went by way of Esophageal cancer which was totally unexpected and fast (8 months) and my Mom with complications of Diabetes (heart disease, blindness, amputation, dementia). She required 24 hour care in her last 4 years and we took turns (4 of us kids) caring for both her and our dying Dad. Both were able to die at home. As I said, it's hard---very hard.

I agree with mk100, as I am doing the exact same thing. Would love to hear from others who have been there, done that and can help us through this trying time. I just feel like there's never enough time in my day--any day--to meet everyone's needs AND work. Help!

I feel as though I am truly entrenched in the "sandwich generation"--taking care of two elderly parents while trying to parent my teenage daughters. Anyone else going through this right now and willing to discuss what's working and maybe what you've done well? I feel exhausted most of the time. Thanks.