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What are some of the triggers you have to watch out for before and during the holidays? What advice do you have for others to avoid or make it through?

any advise are welcome..lost my home...lost my cat..lost prrety much a large part of my family were i use to be the one to cook all this great holidays and as a Chef...that was my therapoy to make people happy!! so now i am in a hotel,searching for ahome and just had 18th surgereis and facing possivle more....but i do have faith!see www.nicoleniche.com and you are welocome to see the beautiful food and..... Joyuex noel and wishing all of you the best of 2010 blessings'nicole

I honestly wonder if some of the reason so many people get depressed during the holidays is because there is so much manic energy in the community. Perhaps we depressives, for some reason, are sensitive and absorb the frantic pressure of preparing for meals and shopping for gifts and the seemingly widespread dread of visiting relatives. I think this because even though I have made a choice to not partake in all of that, I still feel somewhat relieved in January when it's all over.

i'm a sun person so when the days become shorter with daylight savings time (dark by 5pm) and i'm home with some wild kids, i feel somewhat trapped. this winter i gave in and started on lexapro, am using a sun lamp while i get ready in the morning and try and walk my dogs at least an hour every day. i feel better but still not motivated to clean house

take it day by day, I don't think about the holidays as I have to bake the cookies, get the presents wrapped, etc. rather I give myself a pat on the back for everything I did do and don't look back. Next year when I look at this, it will be different but for now I'm doing the best that I can!

I agree with Summer. I don't go crazy with cooking and such. With a TBI, I have a lot of difficulty with over-stimulation of lights, colors, decorations, stuff, stuff, and more stuff in stores, music, loud noise, crowds...I do all my shopping online at MY best time (delivered right to my door), I stay out of large stores or malls, I listen to quiet Christmas music, I spend more time with Spiritual reading and go to daily Mass. I celebrate the Christian meaning of Christmas, not the commercial version. It's is much calmer that way. Our kids are now young adults and they are very understanding and helpful. I'm not saying I don't get depressed...in fact, the past 2 weeks have been very difficult. But I do go gentle with myself---and take it day by day.

In my other life...working at Hollywood Tans and dealing with the public on a regular basis -some of the things I notice around the holidays are that people get caught up in their stress and pressure of life and forget about humanity and the meaning of what we are celebrating. They don't notice how they are treating others and the way they are approaching people because they are wrapped up in their toubles. And BOOM, just like that, their attitude rubs off on the random people they run into. Holidays are hectic enough--add all the commercials and marketing which manipulate people into making them feel if they don't do everything in a grandiose manner then their holiday will be less fulfilling and you have a great equation for pulling your hair out...We've all been there. I try to remember what the holiday is really about when I start to feel overwhelmed. I've learned to channel my focus and I try to do little things for strangers when I'm out: opening a door or even something as small as a sincere smile. We all need a reminder that we're all trying to accomplish the same thing around these times and, I know it sounds cheesy and cliche but I mean it in the most sincere way, we should treat others the way we want to be treated. So, instead of focusing on my stress I try to think of fun ways I can accomplish my tasks and help at least one person a day. This way my focus is on others and not feeding the stress machine. I find I feel a lot better inside when I do this. The best advice I got from my mother -you know how they get you with their wisdom- was the most important thing to remember is be gentle with yourself and remember that if anyone has your back it should be you. Its ok to not be peppy all the time.

A better life through chemistry! There is no shame in using one of the many safe medications that aid in dealing with the chemical imbalances of depression and anxiety. Further, I recommend spending time with a counselor/therapist who can help you find a way to deal with your triggers and stressors and divert them into productive energy and thinking.

I take meds and see a psychologist once a week, my spiritual director once a month. It has recently occurred to me that my psychologist is not helping me (after 3 years of meetings). I find him arrogant and totally missing what I'm dealing with. He's very "opinionated". What do I do? Drop him or tell him EXACTLY how I feel?

tell him exactly how you feel, drop him and find another therapist...

That's exactly what my daughter told me to do. Thank you for your reply!

Ditto. Be straight and up front, you need what you need and you will know that when you meet the person. If a person is truly wanted to be of help there is no room for arrogance in the mental health field. The only way to get on with your life is to try others. Getting out of your comfort zone is always a little tricky; people feel many emotions when out of the comfort zone. But that is also a way to grow, and Nancy you are worth it!

Thanks, Cidy, for caring. I will talk to him at my next visit. This IS a week point in my personality: confrontation. YIKES! But, I will try my hardest to be calm.

Finding a good therapist is like finding good shoes. You have to try them on to see if they fit. You have tried this guy on and it sounds like he isn't a good fit for you. In psychotherapy, the relationship between the therapist and client is 85 percent of the cure. It is critical to success. If you don't feel comfortable and trust your therapist, you are wasting your time and money.

It is April 1, 2010 and depression is lifted. I thank God for getting me through another year. But this time I have others to thank; I also found out that I had a chemical reaction that caused severe depression symptoms this past year. I am thankful that the chemcial reaction to the antidepressants was identified by my doctor as well as myself--it was being in a movie--a horror movie, trying desperately to keep things afloat. Looking for every sign of Spring and life on could hang onto. Its a great day, and thats not a April Fools Joke!!

Summer~~~I'm sooooooo glad to hear you're feeling better! It's amazing what the sunshine can do for us who struggle with severe depression. Thank God for sure!!! And, with Easter this weekend, it's truly Joyful! I'm also glad you have a doctor who is paying attention to your symptoms. I, too, have an excellent doctor. I'm recovering from spinal surgery. A lot of pain still---it was only 2 days ago. But I'm hopeful that when the pain lifts, so will the back problems! They had to go in and remove overgrown bone from a large nerve that was being pinched and causing me a lot of pain. I'm on pain meds, so if this email sounds weird in any way, you can blame them! I wish you continued "light" in the darkness and more sunshine to come! Nancy

It is amazing to me that you mention Easter. As a catholic, I have read more miracles have taken Place around Easter than any other feast day. Easter will be warm and sunny this year, that is so different than many other years. I am praying that you feel better, that your physical pain goes away soon; I would love to hear the what you have been doing--you are still Nancy, before or after TBI. My daughter, had asked for an Easter gift. She wanted poster board and paints and all the goodies that I have as well as she has used to express feelings. Happy Easter to you:) Summer

wow, Nancy, how are you now? I suffered back pain for over two years, and still have some disability from it. I never had surjury. Did it work for you?