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As a parent, would you want to know if one of your children had been sexually molested--even if the abuse happened decades ago?

Hmmm...interesting topic.  Tell me, does this have anything to do with the cases the Catholic Church is currently going through?

Actually, no.  This is a story our Editor-in-Chief, Diana Keough covered several years ago that we wanted to do a follow-up with on the site.

Yes, I would.  Abuse in any form emotional, physical and/or sexual will eventually surface in a person.  It could resurface any in type of situation such as getting married, pregnancy, a smell, a touch, a noise, seeing something familar however a person is unable to place what they saw.  The resurfacing often times will masquerade as anxiety, depression and/or PTSD.  A person may experience panic attacks, flashbacks, anxiety, dissociation, and may even attempt and /or complete suicide.  A person's world can be turned upside down and they may feel they are "going crazy" because they "feel it is real" but may not have the memories available or coping skills to process what has happened to them. A child may feel guilty if they have experienced any pleasure even though they are the victim.  The abuser manipulates the person by intimadation, blame, giving status to the victim through gifts and other special treatment over others in a family.  In cases of multiple abuse within a family there is no communication and the victim will "take" the "abuse" or "sacrifice" "themselves" in the belief that a younger family member will not have to suffer through what they have suffered.  There is so much more to this issue; my belief is it is better to know so a person/family can deal with the issue.  With that said I do not mean it will be easy; as family members and family's friends (most abusers know there victims) may not believe the victim nor want to face this issue due to the loyalty within the family or the family's circle of friends. This can divide a family, break-up a marriage, etc. etc.  It can also free a victim so they can experience life and many times contribute towards advocacy of other victims.   

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I'd want to know. I've had first hand experience with a "much too close for comfort" situation.  My husband's uncle was a pedophile--he is now deceased.  He abused his nephew, niece and his great niece. They  have been very much suffered as a result.  The family (his) were all so ready to cover up Uncle Carl's "sickness" and see him as "poor Carl, the victim" when the one's who were sexually abused by him never received the support or aid they desperatly needed.  Needless to say, whenever he was at a gathering of family, my husband and I stayed home as we have 3 children of our own.  He went to his grave never having to be accountable.  

Our own son, when he was 6, was in the company of a pedophile who was "grooming" his little boys for the future, unbeknown to us.  When he came home after being around this guy for the second time, going to the "pool", he suffered a massive migraine!  I immediately suspected something terrible had happened.  We talked with our son.  It was revealed that he had taken our son into the mens' sauna for "camaraderie".  What sort of grown man seeks "camaraderie" with a child????  We had it out with this guy...and he continued to deny it.  We stayed very connected with our son, his feelings, and re-assured him that what happened was not his fault that this man was bad--we would (and did) protect him.  He is now an adult.  He is very aware of the event altho he doesn't have a clear memory of it.
No one is exempt from predators.  I was a stay-at-home Mom who knows her kids inside and out (thank God).  I'm so happy that the situation never went any further (there was no physical contact with our son).  One can never be too careful. 



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Great question! My husband and I don't have kids, but if I were a mom I'd definitely want to know regardless of when the abuse had happened. As a survivor, I know that it can take decades before memories surface sometimes, and I'd want to be there for my kids, because when you're dealing with the fall-out from a situation like this you need all the support you can get!